under (and so over) the weather

It's natural for one to feel ill when the weather changes from the summer heat to the coolness of fall. I succumbed to such feelings last week, experiencing a headache, a mild fever and some aches and chills. As natural and sometimes expected as those feelings are, it's difficult not to let them get the best of me.

It was likely through a viral infection that I developed a heart condition, so yeah, being sick kinda freaks me out. Thankfully, I warded off the cold or flue that was threatening me - I think. Though this week I have been tired, experienced some pain/discomfort on my left side, and just generally felt a little off.

Given how disciplined I've become with my diet and lifestyle, my body is highly sensitive to the introduction of "foreign objects." For instance, I had a large cup of green tea from a cafe midweek that I suspect was stronger than the green tea I usually drink. Feeling off was the aftereffect I suffered from having more than my usual intake of caffeine.

Also, I know now that the discomfort and pressure I sometimes experience on my left side is more likely the result of muscle injury - knots in my upper back, lingering ligament damage from cracking a rib, etc. - than anything to do directly with my heart. But knowing that and convincing myself of that are two very different levels of awareness.

Any time that I've not felt right, I've been able to recover and get back to "normal" by taking it easy and resting. That's simple enough though also frustrating to feel that I have to force myself to slow down when what I really want to do is push harder - especially now when I'm just starting to become more active again and regain some strength in my right leg.

I despise dealing with these "setbacks." It feels like I work so hard and yet am absolutely no where. This is another self-perception I know to be false. I went through a similar patch a year ago as the weather changed from summer to fall, and if memory serves me correct, I was feeling much worse at that time than I am now.

Viewing the silver lining and recognizing the progress I've made is challenging. It's easier to mire myself in anger over the obstacles that I have to overcome instead of focusing on the many victories and joys I do have to celebrate. But, as today is a new day, and the sun has been gracious enough to reemerge - at least momentarily - I'll appreciate the fact that I can enjoy this day and look forward to tomorrow.